A Mom Who Is Laughing

I tried writing this title too many times, so I just gave up.

Hello Moms!

So glad you are here. On this page. Reading. Sort of. With me. Right now. I’m so happy you are here!

…. I wanted to give a shout-out to my new subscribers and say Thank You for believing in me. You are:

For This Child We Have Prayed

,

Erin Ryan Heyneman

,

AZ Bubbly

,

Emily Spain

,

Elizabeth Heydary

,

Jackie’s Substack

,

Filiz’s Substack

, and

A Woman Who Wanders

. Welcome! :))

My goal is to build a community of mothers who talk about the things that everyone is thinking, but nobody wants to say out loud. Will you join me?

Because, well, it can be awkward when you have a strong feeling, right, but no one to share it with?? Admittedly, that is perhaps what partners, close friends, and therapists are for (and I’m trying to become one. A therapist, that is).

BUT—I believe we can create a community of sensitive moms who also have the strength to say what’s in our hearts while maintaining boundaries, and support each other. Because being a Mom is hard enough with sleepless nights and temper tantrums (the kids, not you. Just kidding) and balancing our career ambitions with 4 piles of laundry to fold in the basement (current statistic). It’s hard enough and then we have to figure out friendships? I mean, c’mon! It’s tough!

….I believe we can learn from each other and grow together. That’s my goal. What do you think? Do you have suggestions or other ideas?

Those of you who know me or have read/watched a few of my episodes know that I’m particularly interested in how moms socialize with one another, and how our friendships (or lack thereof) impact our self-esteem, our kids’ well-being and mental health, and our communities.

Over the years I’ve noticed there are certain kinds of recurring negative behaviors (some might call them “bullying behaviors”) that are particular to women, and which recur in patterns. These tend to be more subtle behaviors (future post to come where I lay out what I’ve identified as patterns of female-specific bullying patterns—stay tuned!), at least in the communities & cultures in which I’ve lived. Women also have an amazing way of coming together, nurturing one another, creating community, healing, and lifting each other up.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

But back to the hard stuff: I observed the negative, exclusive, hurtful behaviors happening when I was in middle school (hello dread, waiting at the bus stop in the bitter cold on a late fall morning, knowing I’d be bullied all the way to school and then have to stand alone or awkwardly insert myself into a circle of “cool girls” while I shuffled around nervously in a pile of oak leaves) and was kind of floored (literally like I kind of fell on the floor…) when these behaviors cropped up again last summer among a group of moms in my daughter’s Kindergarten class. I was like, “oh boy. Is this really happening again?” It felt like 7th grade all over again. You can read about it here.

In the weeks ahead I hope to talk/write about some of the scientific reasons being “left out/rejected” hurts so much (I’m a doc student in clinical psychology, so I like to analyze things…sometimes to my own detriment….) and what we can do about it. Honestly, there is an amazing podcast episode out there far better than anything I’ve written yet by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle called “Being Left Out: Navigating that Lifelong Ache” from their We Can Do Hard Things podcast, and I highly recommend listening to it. It is a launching pad for all the conversations I hope we have together over here!

Meanwhile, watch my video if you want to see/hear a few funny things that happened today…(and please let us all know if anything hysterical or even moderately comical happened to you today, because, well, laughter is the best medicine!)

Warmly,
Kay

Disclaimer: the content on Substack’s The Mom Diaries posted by Kay M. (@themomdiaries and https://substack.com/@themomdiaries) and on YouTube (@TheMomDiariesbyKayM) or any other medium or social media platform (the “information”) is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical, medical, legal and professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information provided by Kay M. or The Mom Diaries is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your licensed mental health professional, medical doctor, or other qualified health provider.