Oh January! Back To School, Sunshine, & Work
A diary entry.
Today was a cold and sunny day in northern New Jersey. I dropped my daughters off at school (a church Pre-k program for my 5-year-old, and 1st grade elementary school for my 6-year-old), my husband went back to his office, and I did some exercise and got some work done at our local library. The school drop-off scenes buzzed like beehives, with parents running in with their children and skipping out solo, just as eager as I was to get some space for a few hours.
It felt good to take a barre/pilates class this morning—both to say “hello” to some women that have become familiar faces, and to reconnect with my body. Using bands, light weights, and our own physical bodies for resistance and weight training, I have been doing barre/pilates for almost two years now and have felt a real difference in how strong and agile my body now feels. My pelvic floor is much stronger, too, and I don’t have as many incontinence issues. Some days I “work harder” in the class, other days I take it easy. I listen to what my body asks for. My favorite part is the stretching at the end and wiping down my bar with a disinfectant wipe. So satisfying, lol.
After that, I bought some sushi to-go from Shoprite (seriously good!), which I ate in my SUV while bright sunshine streamed in through the windshield and I listened to a true-crime podcast. It was nice to be alone after so much family-time and extraversion over the holidays, and to have this quiet time to myself. It’s amazing how much I’ve come to love these sacred moments inside my car, in local parking lots, basking in the sun. Little sanctuaries.
I had to get some computer work done, so I avoided going home where I’d feel compelled to do laundry, wipe down the kitchen counters with their endless crumbs, and take care of our dogs needs’. Since the girls are in school and I have two weeks “off” until my doctoral classes start up again (mid-January), the local library was an excellent choice. Again, my experience was characterized by warmth, bright sunshine, and a sort of quiet-calmness that wrapped around me like a cozy blanket.
With great clarity I scribbled out some ideas and goals for this year, 2024, and also made a to-do list for the week ahead. I reviewed what my course schedule looks like this winter/spring. I brainstormed the (always complicated) question of childcare when my classes and clinical work picks up again, checked in with our house cleaner (without whose help I would be utterly lost), and worked on some job applications. I realized that many of the clinical sites I’m applying to for my 3rd-year externship (next year) are based in New York City, with only a few based here in New Jersey. I will likely apply to the NY hospitals and medical centers, though the question of how to afford travel costs into and out of the city is something I haven’t budgeted for or thought about in detail yet. I feel humbled and excited, however, to get the chance to help patients manage their anxiety and depression and heal from trauma.
After the library, I went for a walk outdoors taking deep breaths of the cold air. As I walked (a loop around a field) and my heart rate went up, my breathing became easier, bigger, freer. My cheeks turned pink and flushed. I had a work-related call after that with a colleague, checked in with my hubby, ate some pizza, and then picked up the girls.
…When my classes are in full swing I’m not there every day to pick them up, so I treasure the moments when I am at school pick-up. Both of my daughters have told me how important it is to them that I pick them up whenever possible. I love hugging them and being hugged by them, taking my 1st-grader’s backpack off her back and carrying it for her, and holding their little gloved hands in mine.
My goals and to-do list for 2024 are still a jumble of ink-scribbles in my notebook, the kitchen is a mess, and there are endless piles of laundry in my basement waiting to be folded, but my heart is full. I’m deeply grateful for all that I have, and I’m thankful to be here on Substack, in community with you.
How was your first day “back?”
Thanks for reading,
Kay
A shout-out to my beautiful and talented friends and network here on Substack! I’m grateful for all of you—please check out each other’s work! Warmly, Kay
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Disclaimer: the content on Substack’s “The Mom Diaries” of “Momffirmations” posted by Kay M. (@themomdiaries and https://substack.com/@themomdiaries) and on YouTube (@TheMomDiariesbyKayM) or any other medium or social media platform (the “information”) is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for clinical, medical, legal and professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information provided by Kay M. or The Mom Diaries or Momffirmations is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your licensed mental health professional, medical doctor, or other qualified health provider.
Hi Kay January is already starting off busy, but slowing but surely I'm marking done on a few things. I did exercise a little which was hard since its been a while. I have a lot to do this week like clean out my garage I'm hoping will happen. We will see but like you im just very grateful. 😊
Wow that sounds like the dreamiest of first days back! My official first day back won't be until next week as we have gone away for two nights and left the children with my mother in law (also dreamy!) Thank you so much for the shout out, it's very much appreciated. I'm so glad to have connected. Happy new year. x